Lost

Today, at this moment, I am feeling LOST.

Lost in my own mind.
Confuse with my life.
Mystified with my own love.
Broken of my faith with religion.

I am LOST and the emptiness within me is expanding like a black-hole eating and destroying everything on its path.

But, it is only now, at this moment. I hope this would end soon.

-End

Pray's in Rain

Today is Jumaat's praying day.

I was late for prayer so I clean myself up as quick as possible.
Then I went to the mosque for every weekly Friday prayer's.

But today, cause I was late, there were so space inside so usually I sit with others outside hearing 'Khutbah' like any other muslimin. The day far rather fine and a bit breezy air.

Well, as the praying starts, on the second half of the 'rakaat', it started to rain. I how it suppose to be, people shattered around looking for shelter, but instead, people did not even budge from their 'saf'. Each and everyone outside was praying while being soaked by the rain.

It was then, in my mind, this is a pleasant yet good feelings. I know that I was not 100% focus on praying due to the rain but still, I was in the 'saf' with others praying till the very end.

It was rather amazing, for me, that everyone stayed in their 'saf' until the prayer's is over. Another one of my good experience to have in my life.

-End

Always been a Loner

Today i ate alone...

You know what it feels like?

Well, usually its feels like any other normal day of mine, cause i am used to being alone... Cause i admit it, i am kinda like being a solo, loner going type of person.

Call it whatever you want, but sometimes, that is life. Some point in life you would be a all alone without nobody, but in my case, and maybe some, we are always been a loner...

Having not much of a friends to hang out with, doing some happy stuff or what-so-ever that makes yourself feels happy about it...

So, the point is, here, that YOU should know, in life, there are times when you will be alone, and that is actually GOOD.. Cause you know why?

Cause eventually as you grow old, admit it or not, REALITY, is that you will be alone... Even DEATH itself means being alone in that hole, being interrogated by Angels before going to either heaven or hell.

So, believe or not, YOU, and me, will always be a loner, at some point in life, and don't run from it (example like, pills, drug, suicide, etc.) cause, ITS LIFE! You have to deal with it, face it with pride, and it will pass on...

p/s: for some people like me, we deal with it everyday, lucky for us :)

Mahu tetapi Tidak Mahu

Aku sangat mahu menjadi seorang kartunis atau pelukis manga / anime yang comel, cantik, bergaya, gempak, dan segalanya...

Aku terasa amat cemburu melihat hasil karya lukisan yang sangat comel dan hebat...
Tak perlu lihat karya-karya antarabangsa, sekadar melihat karya BEN cukup memberi aku suatu perasaan yang sangat cemburu dan juga keinginan yang teramat besar untuk menghasilkan karya seperti itu.

Namun, aku hanya mampu untuk mahu, tapi tidak mampu untuk memperoleh... sebabnya? bakat.... bakat adalah satu yang aku amat kekurangan, dan juga pengalaman serta, pengajaran atau pendidikan yang berasaskan bukan daripada seni membuatkan aku tidak mampu untuk memiliki semua itu.

Aku boleh berusaha, aku tahu, jika aku berkerja dan belajar dengan tekun dan rajin, aku boleh mempunyai karya sehebat itu... Tapi aku tahu itu hanya mimpi aku sahaja...

Kerana aku tahu akan bakat dan 'limit' aku... Aku MAHU jadi kartunis hebat tapi aku TIDAK MAHU mengharap kerana aku tahu akan batas aku...

Manusia Mudah Lupa Diri

Aku...

Aku mengaku aku manusia...

Dan aku selalu lupa diri...

Lupa bahawa diri aku ini, merupakan hanya insan yang hidup sementara dan menunggu mati...

Aku lupa, lupa akan tanggungjawab aku sebab manusia yang perlu berusaha hanya kepada jalan Allah S.W.T...

Aku tahu, tapi selalu aku lupa, akan kewujudan diri aku ini merupakan hanya satu ilusi...

Lupa tapi benar, dunia ini hanya lah untuk sementara dan mereka yang mahu kan dunia semata-mata adalah jahil...

Aku lupa, kerana pada suatu masa nanti, pasti dunia akan MUSNAH tanpa mengira agama, bangsa, usia, dan segalanya...

Aku... Aku...

Aku lupa dan lalai...

Aku hilang cahaya dan petunjuk nya...

Aku mengeluh, tapi nanti aku pasti akan lupa lagi akan semua ini...

Aku lupa akan segala ketaubatan aku...

Aku adalah Manusia yang lupa diri...

Mungkin, NERAKA sudah ada tempat untuk aku...

Tapi, aku tidak akan lupa berDOA untuk memohon doa, keampunan, dan syurga untuk semua SAUDARA Islam...